Hate Me Today: The Detoxification of Chuck Bass
by svenjen
Summary: Heavy tears fell from her eyes as Blair thought of what pain the man she loved more than anyone else in the world, must be feeling. "I will stand by you through anything," she had told him. And she would, no matter how much he might hate her for it! M/A
1. Chapter 1

**Hate Me Today: The Detoxification of Chuck Bass **

_**by svenjen**_

**A/N: **_This story is what I call a coulda-shoulda-woulda. It takes place after the GG episode "In the Realm of the Basses." The self destruction of Chuck motivated me to try and change the outcome of this episode. I felt in real life, a hard core intervention would be needed for someone like Chuck to be able to face and deal with his demons. Further motivation for this writing was found in the song "Hate Me Today" by Blue October. This song always makes me think of Chuck (and one other I know), and can put tears in my eye whenever I hear it. _

_Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl in any way, shape or form. This piece was created for entertainment only. Likewise, I do not own Blue October in any way shape or form, but thought I should accredit their song with motivating my writing and for using it in my title. _

Mostly Chuck and Blair, but has got some Nate and Serena in it initially.

Rated M for maturity: Chapter 1 is fairly mellow, but guaranteed to be ugly and raw soon_**. **_Also, please note this is a descriptive piece of writing for those with little patience for detail!_**  
**_

**Hate Me Today: The Detoxification of Chuck Bass**

**Chapter 1**

"We're here," Serena announced as the engines of the Bass jet shut down after pulling up to the gate. "Mom said we have to meet her down in customs. She has everything arranged."

"How are we supposed to get Chuck off the plane?" Nate inquired as he swept the bangs away from his worried brow. "I don't think we can drag him off and he's still far too gone to walk."

Just then James, the craft's pilot, came from the cockpit to offer some information. "I just got off the radio with Mrs. Bass," he delivered, "They're sending some people out to help deal with Charles. She wants you to go ahead and meet her inside." James opened up the door of the jet and hopped off to set out a step so his passengers could descend down onto the tarmac.

A gust of frigid air rushed in, blowing Nate's shaggy bangs back across his forehead and instantly bringing on shivers from the young people inside. James' breath expelled in heavy puffs of condensation as he finished his task and began to make the necessary preparations for refuelling the jet for the return flight to the United States. "Grab your coats," he suggested with a smirk on his handsome face, "it's really frigging cold up here!"

"I'm not leaving him!" Blair insisted as watched three large men approach the craft. They looked like they meant business… tough and dangerous. She didn't trust anyone with Chuck, let alone strangers; Let alone strangers that looked like they might eat Chuck for lunch! She had reassured him several times throughout the trip that she would stay with him. Even though unconscious, she knew that he had heard her, or at least felt her words. She was determined to help him through this ordeal, and she would stand by that promise no matter what!

"You too Miss Waldorf." James insisted as he welcomed the three burly fellows inside then swept his arm in a gesture that motioned the young people to get off the jet.

"Come on B.," Serena encouraged as she put her arm supportively around her friend. "You know mom wouldn't let anybody hurt Chuck. They will know how to handle him and keep him safe. Wow!" she exclaimed, as she ooggled the husky hunks heading towards the back bedroom of the jet, "do you think all Canadian men are built like that?"

Serena's comment made Nate smile despite the situation. He was just as worried about his friend as Blair was as he grabbed their coats from the pilot and prepared to head out into the cold, but somehow Serena's humour was like a little ray of sun to warm his worries.

Blair shook her head, but reluctantly followed her friends outside onto the frozen tarmac. The frigid air sucked the wind out of her lungs making her cough and pick up the pace to get inside the airport. How could anybody possibly live in a place so dam cold? What the hell is Lilly thinking of, she wondered, bringing Chuck way the hell up here into Canada! How the hell is a place like this going to "fix" him?

The young people quickly cleared customs and were motioned into a private room inside the terminal. There they were met by Lily Bass, Cyrus Rose and several other unfamiliar, but professional looking people. "Please be seated," Lily said to the group motioning them to sit at the large table, "We have a lot to discuss before we head out to the lodge."

Lily introduced the strangers around the table to one another. Included in the entourage were a social worker, medical doctor, psychiatrist, psychologist, and some other clinical specialists. This was the team that would be planning Chuck's care and treatment while they were in Alberta, Canada. Over the next hour, the group explained the plan to Blair, Serena and Nate.

"So let me see if I understand the plan," Nate reflected as his worried eyes scanned the group. "We are going to stay in an isolated lodge while Chuck detoxes. The doctor and his team will come out everyday to work with Chuck and oversee his treatment needs. We are," he indicated towards Blair and Serena, "here to help him through the days until he is strong enough to handle going home. Is this correct?"

"What Mrs. Bass is hoping to accomplish," stated the social worker, "Is a different type of intervention plan for Charles. This medical team supports the plan as they believe that a regular detox program will not likely work on Charles. His father had tried several times to get Chuck into treatment facilities in the past, but Charles always refused to participate. Mrs. Bass, his stepmother, has taken legal custody of Chuck. With the help of Mr. Rose and his wonderful connections in this country, we have come up with an alternative treatment plan for Chuck."

Serena and Blair both looked questionably at Nate. They had not been aware of any past attempts to detoxify or otherwise "treat" their friend, although admittedly, it was probably needed. Nate nodded towards his friends. "It's true," he admitted, meeting their eyes guiltily, "Chuck never wanted it mentioned. To anybody, ever."

"What about Jack?" Serena questioned her mother. "Wasn't he going to assume guardianship over Chuck?"

"Oh, yes. Jack. Well that's a whole other issue!" Lily exclaimed as she rolled her eyes to the back of her head. "I swear that man is so evil! Bart would never have wanted his lowly brother looking after Chuck. That poor boy is broken enough without Jack's influence. Imagine supplying your already disturbed nephew with enough drugs to supply the whole Upper East Side! Good God! Anyways, that is why we decided to get out of the U.S. so that Jack will have no way of tracking us down here and messing up the process. Lucky for us, Cyrus had these connections…. "

"Chuck is not disturbed!" Blair interrupted with a somewhat pitchy voice and tears brimming at her eyes. "He's just been through an ordeal, a horrible ordeal. And he needs our help."

"I don't mean to disrespect Chuck, Blair," Lily challenged, "but he is disturbed right now and he does need our help. You may not know this but he has had problems his whole life. This is his psychologist," Lily indicated to the smart looking middle aged professional at their table. "He has known Charles since he was a small child." She continued, "And you know Charles hasn't been himself since his father died. He is abusing himself with copious amounts of alcohol, cocaine and God knows what other drugs. We were lucky he was found in that opium den in Bangkok! If he doesn't get help soon, he could end up dead." Lily looked at the tearful Blair straight in the eye, "You know this is true Blair. You saw it first hand a few days ago when he was up on that roof. He could have died that night," she choked as she added, "and then yesterday, Blair, his limo driver found him unconscious in the back of the limo. He had taken a mixed cocktail of medication and God knows what else. This has to stop or we'll lose him too."

Blair nodded her head to Lily as she fought the tears she felt start to spill from her eyes. She knew what Lily said was the truth. She had been literally sick with worry for Chuck ever since Bart's death. She had tried to deny her feelings, to just let it go once Chuck had left the country, but to no avail. After all, it was he who left her and told her not to try and find him the night he left her alone in her bed. She had that very note in her purse right now. It had deepened the cracks in her already broken heart and had been the reason for her incredibly poor lack of judgement on New Years Eve. The thought made her shudder as she wrapped her thin arms around herself for comfort.

Her concerns had only worsened when Chuck had returned from Bangkok. The self destruction so evident to her was overlooked by others who claimed to know him well. But she knew. She felt it, right to her very core. Her soul had been screaming to help him since the day she watched Jack pulled his semi-comatose body out of the limo. Then the night of the Colony Club meeting! OMG! She nearly lost it seeing him on that rooftop. He just about fell! He almost died right there, in front of her! And now Lily was telling her that he almost overdosed yesterday! It was too much for her to stand. Heavy tears fell from her anguished eyes as she thought of what pain the man she loved more than anyone else in the world, must be feeling. "I will stand by you through anything," she had told him. She knew Lilly was right. "Tell me how we can help."

Chapter 2 is enroute.

**A/N: Feedback? Please be kind, it is my first.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The sun was just beginning to set behind Jackson Rapids Lodge when Lily, Serena, Nate and Blair arrived by Airport Limousine a few hours later. Lily had explained to the friends that Chuck had already arrived by helicopter a couple of hours ahead of them along with his team of Doctors, Clinicians and Cyrus. She explained to them that, after they finished thoroughly examining Chuck, they were going to try and bring him around again, feed him and get him to go to sleep.

Through the dwindling light Blair noted that the scenery before her was absolutely breathtaking in a post card type of way. The snow shone with a bluish tint as the sun cast its last desperate rays upon it. She appreciated the framing of heavy evergreen foliage surrounding the grounds that seemed to capture its beauty beyond belief. There, to the east, she saw a large rocky outcrop where a small billow of steam seemed to be coming out of the rocks. The main building, the lodge, was just at the top of a small hill on the west side of the grounds. It was built in an absolutely lovely chalet-style structure, cedar perhaps, with four similarly styled smaller cabins placed around the grounds. As they ascended the hill on their approach to the main building, Blair noted regal mountains peaking up at them in the distance, now with the sun slowly sinking behind their glorious peaks.

"It's stunning!" Serena declared as she hurried up the well maintained walkway behind her mother.

"Yeah," Nate looked around, ignorantly expecting to see igloos on the frozen landscape. They were, after all, in Canada. Surely anyone living this far north would have to live in an igloo. Wasn't that what Canada was all about? He was just as disappointed when no such dwellings had dotted the landscape along the long drive from the airport.

"Yeah," he agreed as he cupped frozen ears with stiffened hands, "but does it have to be so bloody cold? I didn't think it could possibly get any colder than it was when we landed here this afternoon! This is insane!"

They spied Cyrus with his welcoming smile at the lodge's entrance. The group hurried their last few steps into the lodge before they had to endure any further discomfort from the crisp Alberta evening.

"Ha, ha," he laughed as he ushered them in, "You look cold! Welcome to Jackson Rapids Lodge!" "If you think this is cold, Nate," he added, "just wait until a real Arctic front rolls in. This temperature is actually normal for this time of year here. Why I remember visiting J.R one winter when it was so cold out that the gas lines froze in every vehicle on the property ….."

Where was Chuck? Blair silently questioned as she looked over the lodge's cozy surroundings. She was feeling nauseous, like something was pushing into her stomach. She wanted to vomit the dinner Lily had insisted they eat in the tiny restaurant in town, but she knew the feeling was caused by her overwhelming stress over this situation. She needed to see him soon. She felt herself drawn to the enormous stone fireplace in the center of the room. Its heat radiated like a thousand suns on a blazing Manhattan day, beckoning her with its warmth. Blair shivered in the luxurious heat as it welcomed her. She flopped down on one of the inviting chesterfields that fronted it, grateful for the relief it offered her tense body.

"Just remember, there are no phones in the cabins here. And your cell phones are useless too. No Gossip Girl blasts here! You will need to use these Walkie-Talkies to communicate between rooms. Ben has an emergency phone locked in his office in Cabin A, but it is for emergencies only. You can have help here in about 10 or 15 minutes if you need it by helicopter. The main city is Calgary, a little over 1 1/2 hours east of here, and the closest town is about an hours walk to the south. Everything you need is here in the cabins, with the main kitchen in the lodge. Your mother, he indicated to Blair, is arranging for school assignments to be faxed over to the fax machine in the office. Yes, you are all excused from school for awhile, but need to keep up on your studies. Also, somebody from the medical team will be by everyday to check on Chuck, with a therapist in tow.

"Are we all staying in the main lodge Cyrus?" Nate inquired.

"Nobody will actually stay in the main lodge,' he offered, "That's what the cabins are for. Would you believe they are fitted with geothermic energy and heating from the hot springs? You'll find them very comfortable Nathanial," he responded in response to Nate's "are you kidding me" look. "The girls will stay in cabin B close to the lodge. Nate, you and Charles will be in cabin C, down by the Grotto." J.R's son, Benjamin, will be staying in Cabin A. He will be here to make sure everybody is OK, and can be used to handle Charles if he gets out of control. He will make sure he takes any meds and will get you and the Clinical team anything you may possibly need as long as you're here. I'm afraid Lily and I are heading back into Calgary tonight. We need to get ourselves and the Bass jet back to New York for tomorrow."

Blair perked up at the mention of Chuck's name. "Where is Charles?" she inquired, not quite unable to take the strain out of her quivering voice.

"I believe he is in his cabin, sleeping at the moment," Cyrus answered her with sincere affection. "Don't worry, Blair, he's going to be OK." Cyrus approached his young step-daughter and hugged her genuinely to his breast. He knew how deeply she loved the young man and he had been more than happy to support the needs of Charles' family at this time. "We'll call Benjamin for regular updates and Lily will talk to his Clinicians daily."

Moments later, as Lilly and Cyrus were getting ready to leave; one of Chuck's doctors entered the lodge. "He should be good for the night," he announced. "He might be a bit groggy when he wakes up, and have a bit of an attitude, but he shouldn't be too bad tonight or tomorrow. Tomorrow night he'll probably start getting testy with the withdrawal. Then it could get pretty ugly, just like we explained to you earlier in the meeting. Be prepared. We'll be back to see him tomorrow afternoon."

The friend's watched as the adults boarded the newly arrived helicopter and took off. Soon they were alone.

"I need to see Chuck now!" Blair exploded as she grabbed her bags by the lodge's main doorway and ran out the door, with no coat or anything. She headed towards the western pathway away from the lodge towards cabin C. "And Nate," she continued when she noticed her friends following a moment later, "you can share the cabin with Serena. I promised Chuck I would not leave him and I mean it."

"That's fine with us, B. if you really want to. Isn't it Nate?" Serena supported. "But slow down! You can hardly see anything out here! And put on your coat before you die of frostbite!"

They watched Blair fly over the grounds towards her destination, chestnut curls bouncing behind the back of her dainty frame. She had a ferociousness about her for someone so slight. When Blair Waldorf had a mission, she was truly a force to be reckoned with, and this time her mission was Chuck. This was bound to get interesting!

In the snug cabin, the friends peeked into the room where they supposed Chuck would be sleeping. Sure enough, they heard a soft snoring coming from beneath the slight rise and fall of the lavish quilt. After the drama of the last couple of days, it was hard to believe that their friend could be so peaceful.

"Please let's just let him rest," Blair suggested as she gently closed the door and ushered her friends to the other side of the room. "I'll stay with him to make sure he is OK. Nate, can you please set up the Walkie-Talkies and make sure we are all on the same channel before you guys head over to your cabin?" Blair asked, as she hinted they take their leave. She was not in the mood for visiting friends around the lodge's large fire tonight. Besides, nobody could convince her to leave Chuck even for a moment. She wanted nothing more than to stay close to him, curl up with some hot tea and rest while watching over her charge. She was also exhausted herself. She wanted a hot bath and some quiet too. Then maybe her raw nerves could settle and the nausea in her stomach would finally subside.

Nate soon had set up the Walkie-Talkies. He quickly briefed the girls on how to use them. He was such a guy about this kind of thing! Then both he and Serena hugged Blair goodnight. They were eager to head up to the big lodge and explore their cabin too. She bade them good night and locked the door behind them for the night. She turned around to look over her surroundings and settle in.

Cyrus had been right. The little cabin was surprisingly comfortable and toasty warm. She detected a slight sulphuric smell, and understood this was probably due to the chemical make up of the very hot springs responsible for their comfort. Blair quietly opened the door to a second neat little bedroom decorated in a manor similar to the one Chuck was in. She brought her suitcase into her room and quickly unpacked her wardrobe, gathering up her robe, baby-doll pyjamas and toiletries kit.

She found the bathroom and sat down to run a bath. She added lavender essence to the deliciously warm water. She slowly crept in, letting the soothing sensation envelope her weary body. It was then that she let herself go. Sobbing into her tiny hands she unleashed her stress. Spasms of pain wracked her small frame as she expelled her grief. Once spent, she re-warmed the tub's water and leaned back to relax. She had needed that, she acknowledged. She immediately felt better once she allowed herself the luxury of grief.

Later she had relaxed with the latest issue of Cosmo and a cup of hot tea she had made in the tiny, yet surprisingly well fitted kitchen. Blair soon decided it was time to turn in for the night. It really wasn't that late by Alberta time. They were, after all, a couple of hours behind New York time here. Still, she was exhausted. She couldn't remember ever feeling this drained. She wanted nothing more than sleep. But first, she decided, she needed to check on Chuck once more before turning in herself.

He was moaning softly in his sleep when she peered in the room. She thought she heard him mumble something, but it was muffled and lost under the quilt. Stepping gently over to his bed for a closer look at him, she noted something almost angelic on his sleeping face. He looked like a little boy buried under that big quilt. So innocent. So whole. Not one shred of despair or pain was there. There was no trace of the broken Chuck that she knew was hidden under that deceitfully peaceful surface.

Gently, so as to not disturb, she slid next to him on the bed. She only intended to stay for a moment to make sure he was OK before turning in herself. She slipped under the covers for a moment just to be closer to him … to hold him … to reassure him that she was there. She carefully slid her tiny arm under his own and gently wrapped it around his chest. She then softly curled her legs around his to spoon him. She could feel his breathing calm in her embrace, and imagined that he held her arm a little bit tighter as she cradled him in hers. She placed her forehead next to his shoulder. "It's OK Chuck. I won't leave you," she whispered to him. "I'm here in the next room over. It's all going to be OK," she promised, then added, "I love you." Soon she felt her own body relax in time to the rhythm of the rise and fall of his chest.

She woke up to his hot mouth on the curve of her neck! "Mmmmmm," he moaned, as he planted hungry kisses along her neckline towards her shoulder, "You smell delicious."

Chapter 3 is en route.

**A/N: Feedback? I personally felt this chapter went for a bit too long, but thought it important to set the stage for the rest of the story. I promise Chapter 3 is going to be more graphic and more worthy of its M rating. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

She woke up to his hot mouth on the curve of her neck! "Mmmmmm," he moaned, as he planted hungry kisses along her neckline towards her shoulder, "You smell delicious! You taste even better!"

Blair startled awake. WTF! Where was she? And what the hell was she doing in the embrace of an obviously coherent and highly aroused Chuck Bass? She tried to jerk free of his hold, but found herself being pulled closer to his sensual body. His desire became more evident when she felt the bulge against her stomach as he held her close. It made her instantly clench and her body jolt with a desire that was firmly imprinted into every fibre of her being.

She struggled to get free of his clutches before her body could betray her further. He had always excelled at morning sports! But she wasn't ready for this! "Let me go Chuck," she insisted. "You have no idea what you're doing!"

"I know exactly what I am doing Waldorf," he exclaimed with a smirk. He had felt the jolt of response in Blair, and recalled its significance. "While on the other hand," he added, "you don't seem to have a clue. You are the one who happens to be in my bed this morning, with your body semi-sprawled over mine. You are the true culprit here, not me," he added as he brought his mouth back up towards the chin he now gently held in his hand. "So explain to me why you are in my bed, or stop struggling and participate. You know it turns me on when you wriggle around like that!"

Blair stopped her struggles and lay still in his arms. She felt a well of tears begin to pool in her lovely eyes. "I must have fallen asleep last night when I came in to check on you, that's all," she insisted. "Don't mistake my concern for something sordid."

"There was never anything sordid about us Waldorf," he stated as he lessened his hold on her, turning it into more of a hug than a wrestling match. He tilted her chin up towards his face to look in her eyes. Her draw was incredible! Those deep, beautiful, come-fuck-me eyes of hers lay his very soul naked and exposed to her.

But for Blare, looking deep into Chucks eyes rekindled more than just passion and raw desire. His eyes held his story. He was lost, dying and alone in has grief. It broke her heart, and the tears came on strong. They spilled out of her despite her best efforts to control them. This was going to be harder than she thought. She quickly got out of the bed and ran for the bathroom.

Chuck was shocked. "What'd I do?" he asked as she quickly closed and locked the bathroom door. "And here I thought we were getting along so well"

Blair was disgusted with herself. First, she goes and falls asleep in bed with him last night. Then her body betrays her and wants to respond to his touch (did he say I was sprawled across him?) and then she had to go and cry in front of him! She was so embarrassed by the events of the morning that she didn't know if she could face him. "You really are a piece of work Blair," she told herself as she turned on the shower. "Get a grip and be strong." But Blair didn't feel strong right now. She felt like her body was about to crumble and break into a million pieces. She let the gentle spray of the showerhead wash the tears away from her face. "Why do I feel like he sees into my soul when he looks at me like that?" she wondered. "It absolutely melts my heart!"

Chuck sat on the edge of the bed and looked around the room. What had just happened to Blair? And what does "I came in to check on you" mean? "Just where the fuck am I?" he asked of no one in particular. He had absolutely no idea where he was. He shrugged his shoulders and started to stand up. It wasn't like this was the first time he'd ever woken up in some unfamiliar bed with some woman and couldn't recall the details of the predicament. However this particular someone, he admitted, was the only one he ever only wanted to wake up next to. But why was she here too?

"Whoa," he moaned as the room spun and tilted when he stood. He tipped over back onto the bed. He better take a minute to sit down and process this. He steadied himself, took a deep breath and tried to recall. His mouth felt like cotton. He instinctively turned to look for a side table with a glass on it. Sure enough, there was a glass of clear liquid on the table. He slowly reached for it praying that another surge of vertigo didn't come on. He reached the glass and brought it to his lips in one swift movement. "Fuck!" he yelled, as he spat the liquid back out. "It's water!"

He recognised a set of clothes that looked as though they had set out for him the night before, all folded neatly on the same table the water had been on. Later, he thought, as he listened to the shower behind the bathroom door. I need a shower first. He waited until the room steadied again then slowly stood. "Jesus!" he thought as he waited for stability to claim him, "Must have been some party!"

He slowly walked over to the bathroom door and tried to open it. "Shit Blair," he groaned. "Why did you lock the door? It's not like I haven't seen anything you have in there before you know!"

When she didn't respond, he changed his tone and knocked on the door softly, "I'm sorry Blair, please. Can I come in?" He thought he heard a couple of sniffles. Oh, right, she had been crying. Incredible! He still didn't know what he'd done to make her cry. This was all so confusing to him. "Please don't cry Blair, he said, "I really don't know what I did to hurt you this time. I'm always fucking up, aren't I?" He went back down to the bed and waited for her to come out of the bathroom. What a confusing morning!

Hearing her cry triggered something in the back of his brain. He could recall part of a sickening dream he'd had the night before. He dreamt of Blair being alone and crying in the dark. He had tried to call for her. He wanted to go and comfort her, but was trapped and couldn't find her in the dark. His words had been caught in his throat, unable to comfort her. She had been helpless and lost. He could do nothing to help. He was trapped, alone, and helpless. But then an angel had come and held him, whispering sweet words of comfort and reassuring him he was not alone. She had told him she loved him. He never remembered feeling that safe in his life. It had been one of the strangest dreams he had ever had. Recalling it pulled at his stomach. He felt like there should be more, but he couldn't remember. There had been pain and fog then blackness and feeling trapped, unable to move, and then he was colder than he ever imagined possible. This made him nervous, he tried to remember more.

Just then a scream coming from somewhere close by snapped him back to reality. He jumped off the bed and ran over to the window. He was met with a blinding light when he opened the curtain quickly, and he slammed his eyes shut to ward off the painful glare. "Shit!" he exclaimed, "what the hell was that?" Slowly this time he opened them in a squint and again tried to look outside. Once his eyes adjusted he looked closer at the world outside the cabin. He had never seen anything so white and sparkling in his life! Snow. And was there ever a lot of it! The pulling in his stomach grew.

He continued staring in disbelief when he heard a second scream. He caught the sight of a toboggan in the distance, careening down the hill from a large chalet. 2 people were on it, screaming as it sped down the hill. Just where the fuck was he?

Right about then Blair emerged from the bathroom clad in her robe, towel-drying her freshly cleaned hair. She casually walked over to the window to see what he was staring gob smacked at. "Looks like Nate and Serena found some toboggans," she stated.

"Where are we?" he asked, "and why are we here?"

Blair was dumbstruck. Did he seriously not know what was going on?

She took him by the hand and walked him over to sit on the bed. "We're somewhere in Canada Chuck'" she explained. "We came here to help you get your life back together. You flew in yesterday with a team of doctors, and then we flew in last night. Lily says we can stay here as long as it takes."

"What do you mean Blair? Just what the hell do you mean?" he yelled. He was close to losing it.

Blair tried to remain as calm as she knew he needed her to be. She felt the distress and panic in his voice; could see it in his eyes. Taking his large hand between her two tiny ones she continued. "Chuck, you know you haven't been doing well the last couple of months, since the accident. You almost died a couple of nights ago from overdosing or overdoing some weird drug combination. You're also showing symptoms of opiate addiction from your little trip to Bangkok. Your doctors will be back this afternoon to explain it to you. In the meantime Serena, Nate and I are here to help you out any way we can."

Her words burned him like acid, and he stared at her in disbelief. So that was it? He was here to dry out just like some street junkie. Is that what everybody thought of him? He knew things had been rough lately and he had been over indulging in getting relief, but this? This was too much! The dream! That's what was happening in his dream. Oh my God!

"I don't have that kind of problem Blair!" he yelled, "And you are NOT my mother or my girlfriend! Just get out of here. Leave me alone." He jumped up off the bed and headed towards the cabin door clad only in the purple silky pyjama bottoms he had slept in. Where were his fucking shoes?

At first startled by this outburst, Blair was now pissed! When challenged, she could easily match fire with fire. She jumped off the bed and followed him over to the door. Taking both of her tiny hands, she grabbed his shoulders and turned him around to face her. She then shoved him up against the very door he so desperately wanted to escape through and kept those little hands pressed against his naked chest. Fearlessly she let Chuck have it with both cannons, "You know what Bass?" she yelled back at him with blazing eyes, "You're right. I am NOT your mother and I am NOT your girlfriend. But I AM your friend and I will NOT watch you self destruct any further. Your driver found you near death the other night! You almost jumped off the roof of Victrola last week." She added working herself into wildcat like frenzy. "Like I told you before, I can't bear to see you hurting anymore. And I am not going anywhere! I promised you I wouldn't, and I won't because I love you, even if you do hate me right now!"

She backed off and slammed into her room, breaking down and sobbing once again.

He was awed by her outburst. Though really quite angry, he had to admire Blair's passion. He thought of what she'd just said. He'd heard her say something similar that night on the roof of Victrola, coaxing him from the ledge, promising him, "I'll always be here," and then telling him, "I don't want you going anywhere. I couldn't bear it." At the back of his mind he thought of the angel in his dream whispering similar promises in his ear. Maybe that wasn't a dream either. Maybe Blair was that angel and now he had hurt her again! He had promised her that night at Victrola that he wouldn't do that to her and he was sorry. He had promised, but that promise was broken almost immediately. He almost died again! And now they were here and she thought he hated her! Oh God, what had he done?

Cautiously Chuck followed Blair into her room. She lay alone on the bed with her head in hands, bawling her eyes out. He hated to see her look so alone. He sat next to her, putting his hand on the small of her back. "I'm so sorry Blair," he apologised, "You're right. You've been a good friend and I just keep fucking up. I promised you I wouldn't hurt myself, and I let you down again. Please stop crying and look at me," he pleaded.

When she didn't respond he continued, "When I woke up this morning and saw you, I thought I was dreaming. But when I realized you were real I had no idea what was going on. I assumed something must have happened because you were in my bed and holding me when I woke up. Blair, you have to stop crying. Please," he begged.

"I don't know if I can stop crying Chuck," she sobbed. "I don't think I've stopped since we got here." Blair sat up and grabbed a handful of tissues off the nightstand. She blew her nose, then grabbed more and wiped at her eyes. "I guess you just do that to me."

"Were you crying last night too?" He queried. "I thought I heard something in my sleep last night. I thought it was a dream." Oh God, he thought, remembering the agony that had been in that cry. That was her. And I did nothing to help!

She gently nodded in response adding, "I'm sorry Chuck. I hadn't meant to wake you."

"No, I'm the one who's sorry, Blair," he whispered as he gently placed his hands under her and pulled her onto his lap in one quick motion. He wrapped his arms protectively around her, pulling her close to him. "I know you're trying to help me. I didn't mean to hurt you again."

Blair responded by putting her head on his shoulder and her arms around his chest. "Thank you," she replied.

They held each other like that for awhile, gaining comfort from one another without words until someone started banging on the door.

"Come on you two. Wake up!" Serena's overly peppy voice rang out, "Come on out and play. This place is a blast!"

Later, after Chuck had showered and they had all eaten up at the main lodge, Benjamin suggested they bundle up and go for a walk on the grounds. Chuck's clinical team, he announced, wouldn't be by for a few hours.

Chuck's guts felt wrenched hearing about his clinicians. He was not looking forward to this. In fact he was horrified. He was feeling grumpy enough without hearing about doctors. He wanted some scotch, or some hash, or something to take the edge off. This really sucked. He tried to keep up a cheerful front, and even managed to laugh a bit, especially when Benjamin finally told Nate, "Dude, there are no igloos in this part of the country. We don't use dog sleds as transportation, nor do we have keep moose as pets. Oh, and I'm Blackfoot, not Inuit!"

Although still colder than what they were used to, Blair couldn't believe how much warmer it felt out today. It was a Chinook, Ben had explained, a warm wind that comes over the mountains causing the temperatures to rise temporarily. They should enjoy it while it lasted, he suggested. It was a great day to hit the grotto.

This idea appealed to Nate. "They have this wild pond in the middle of the cave with hot water in it. Like a Jacuzzi, but in the rocks!" he exclaimed. "We should go!" There were no bathing suits packed for the kids, but they had swum together in their underwear for years.

That the grotto was magnificent was saying the least! In the rocky outcrop of the property's western border was a series of small caves. Natural hot springs ran through a few of these. One such cave had been decked out to make the best of its properties. The floor was smooth and its stone walls were polished clean. Comfortable lounge chairs and tables had been placed around for people to enjoy the area. A message station was set up at one end of the cave, while a bathroom complete with shower facilities was set up at the other. The lighting was dim and cast shadows over the steaming water of the spring fed pond which was in the center of the cave, ending at the stone wall in the back. A small natural waterfall of hot spring water ran from the wall creating a delightful little shower. Despite the cold Alberta winter, the air in the cave was warm and humid with a slight sulphuric smell. It was surreal.

The friends were enjoying their time relaxing in the water, gossiping about others at school and enjoying the snack that Benjamin had brought down for them. After about an hour, Nate had complained that the cave smelled like the devilled eggs he'd just eaten and he felt sick. Besides, he missed Vanessa, and just wanted to go and lie down. Serena offered that he had probably just spent too long in the hot water, which they had been warned not to do. He was being a big baby, she teased, but she had had enough too and wanted to go take a nap. They both left, leaving Chuck and Blair alone.

"I still don't get what he sees in that Brooklyn trash," Chuck grumbled referring to Vanessa. "But I'm glad he's gone for awhile. He was starting to get on my nerves."

"You're just feeling crabby right now," Blair offered. "I think it's to be expected."

"So then help take my mind off it Waldorf," he replied as he slipped back into the water and headed to the semi submerged rock Blair was relaxing on at the back of the pool. "By the way," he added as he looked her up and down suggestively, "nice choice of undergarments today."

"Don't be a jerk Chuck," Blair laughed as she met his eyes and began to let herself slip further down into the water upon his approach. "You've seen me swim in my underwear ever since we were 6."

Yes he certainly had, he thought, remembering the stirrings it had caused in him even as a young boy. And then, when they gotten older and still played in various fountains and pools, he'd admire the supple figure that always put a pull in his groin. The thought of her in wet clinging panties and bras and what he knew lay beneath them had given him plenty to jerk off to over the years. Now, as he watched her slip into the water just inches before him, he grew hard again. God she was magnificent!

When he reached her he took her in his arms and gently held her, planting light kisses on her head. She reached up to stroke his face, and asked if he was going to be OK.

"I'm scared," he admitted. "I'm just really thankful you're here with me." He reached down and lifted her chin so he could look into her compelling eyes. They seemed to swallow him whole. When she whispered that it was going to be OK, he leaned down to kiss her lightly on the lips, expecting her to resist.

Her response, however, was more than encouraging. She brought her hands up to cup his face and returned the kiss with more passion than he had offered, kindling a fire that ran through his body. His hands slid around her small waist to bring her close, and she wrapped her legs around his, urging him further in his heat. "I want you," he moaned, and then admitted, "I need you."

He carried her back over to a shallower part of the pond, where the light shower fell from the rock wall above. She slowly un-hooked and removed her wet bra, exposing the swell of her breasts to his hungry eyes. His hands and mouth were soon on them, touching, kissing and sucking their soft peaks.

She encouraged him along twining her fingers through his hair and making little noises with her mouth as he worked his magic. She kissed his neck, his shoulders and chest, feeling her own passion start to build. God how she had missed this! "I need you too," she admitted.

She reached down and took the waist band of his boxers in her hands. She pulled them part way down through the water, and then used her foot to lower them until he could step out freely. She caressed her hands up his thighs, and cupped his bum, drawing him closer to her. She looked into his eyes and held their fire.

"Bair." he moaned, running his hands down her chest to her panties. In a like manor he removed her last article of clothing. With no barriers between them they were free to touch and explore each other.

Blair ran soft fingers up the shaft of his cock, glorified in its response to her touch. She drew small circles around the head and stroked its length with one hand, while cupping his balls with the other. Her mouth kissed his chest and sucked on his small, hard nipples.

He groaned again, as he felt his way down to the source of her passion. He stroked her folds gently, and inserted fingers into her opening. When he felt her body clench he kissed her mouth, gently sucking her lips and tongue erotically. His fingers found her clit and gently stroked and coaxed it along between his fingers and thumb.

When her breathing deepened he knew she was close. He placed two fingers from his other hand lightly inside her, stroking the walls of her cavern as he gently pinched the bundle of nerves in her clit with his other hand. The combination made her explode in contractions that gripped his fingers inside. "Oh Chuck," she purred.

She put her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply as he entered her. She wrapped her legs around his back and groaned as she felt him go deeper inside. Using the stone wall as support he plunged his cock in and out of her. The warm spring water caused a friction that brought him close. He unwound her legs from him and turned her around to face the wall. She raised her arms to use as a brace while he entered her from behind to finish. She rocked her body to meet his rhythm, slightly withdrawing him, and then plunging him back in again, deeper and deeper with each stroke. The friction inside sent waves of heat through her body, and brought jolts of pleasure through his. She felt another orgasm approaching as he began to cum. "Make me yours," she cooed.

When he finally burst inside her in a final thrust it was all she needed to explode too. Her inner walls clamped down and held his cock, squeezing it upward into spasms. Her body responded in equal shudders of delight.

"Jesus Blair!" he proclaimed as his entire body shook. She was the best, no doubt about it. She could fuck him better than any women he had ever known.

And she knew it too!

Later, when they dressed and began to walk back to the main lodge, they heard a helicopter coming from the east. The clinicians had arrived. "Oh God," he thought, "What's next?"

Chapter 4 en route, but may take a few days to complete.

**A/N: Feedback please? This story is taking a route different than I planned. With Chuck starting to withdraw it needs to get gross for awhile. Maybe not so much lov'n in the next one. What do you think?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Benjamin ushered Chuck and Blair into the upstairs office of the lodge. There they saw a large conference table where a few of Chucks' clinical team members sat waiting. Included in the party were Lilly Bass and Bart's lawyer.

"What is that slut doing here?" Chuck grumbled as he sat down. "Isn't this bad enough without including her in the mix?" Chuck had been told earlier that Lilly was heading back stateside. She shouldn't be here, he thought. And he was feeling owly! Despite having a pleasant afternoon in the grotto with Blair, he had been feeling increasingly irritated and almost twitchy all day. He wanted a joint or a drink to relax him but understood nothing of the like could be found in this God-forsaken hellhole.

"Mrs. Bass is your stepmother and legal guardian Charles. She has both the right and the responsibility to oversee your care," informed the lawyer. "So, before you get on the defensive, or throw a tantrum, you need to grow up and listen to a few things."

"I am not a child!" insisted a very disgruntled Chuck. "And I can take care of myself! I've been doing it for years. Besides wasn't Uncle Jack going to assume guardianship?" he asked.

"We can see how well your self care has helped you along in life so far. Case in point, you're here to detox off of opium and prescription drugs," commented the lawyer firmly. "And as for that uncle of yours, well there're a few things you need to hear about him too.

"I haven't done any opium since I left Bangkok!" Chuck insisted as he lowered his head, placing a fist between knitted brows. Couldn't they just leave him be?

Blair reached over and supportably rubbed his arm. ""It's OK, Chuck," she reassured.

"Charles you had high levels of opiates, along with a few other things, in your tox screen from the hospital the other night. You almost died. I had your room and your suite at the Palace stripped of any form of drug that could be found." Lilly confessed. "We had a lab analyse everything they found thoroughly. They found opium laced into every hash joint. They also found liquid opium in some of the alcohol, especially in your scotch. I was set to fly home with Cyrus after bringing you here last night when I got the call from the drug lab. We suspect Jack's been putting opium into your um, ah …your stuff."

""That doesn't make any sense," Chuck chortled. "Why would he do that?"

"Because," stated the lawyer, "he wants to mess you up so he can keep control of Bass Industries after you turn 18. By the look of things, he's done a pretty good job so far. If you're dead or too incompetent to assume control, Jack inherits the company. It's stated in Bart's will," he informed. Then in a softer tone he added, "Son, I understand that this experience isn't a pleasant one for you, and I imagine it's going to get worse. But you need to believe your stepmother has your best interest at heart, despite what you believe of her. The police are investigating Jack. So you need to get this mess out of your body, and deal with whatever other issues you may have before you go back home. Is that understood?"

Chuck nodded to the lawyer. He was flabbergasted! He couldn't believe that his own uncle would wish him harm. That same uncle he held in such high regard, often wishing that he had been his father instead of Bart. Jack used to shower him with attention when he would visit from Australia. He took him to places his dad would never attempt or often approve of, spoil him rotten and party with him like a best friend. "He was the only family I had left," he sadly stated. "I thought he loved me."

Blair turned in her chair and placed her small arms around his neck. "It's going to be OK Chuck. We'll get through this," she promised, hugging him lightly.

"Then thank you Lilly," Chuck apologized with a quiver in his voice and tears beginning to pool in his golden brown eyes. "This just really is too much."

"I really am sorry Charles," Lilly offered. "Your clinicians are going to explain your treatment plan to you now, and your therapist will help you too. I need you to understand that despite what happened between your father and I, I am your stepmother and will do everything I can to support you for the rest of my life or until you really don't want or need it anymore."

With that, Lilly got up from the table and walked over to Chuck. She bent over his chair and hugged him from the opposite side of Blair. She placed a light kiss on his head and held him there for a moment before letting go. As she headed out the door, Charles' psychologist said to him, "Charles your girlfriend should probably leave now too."

"I am not his girlfriend," Blair responded as she released her hold on Charles and rose from the table. She kissed his brow and let him know she would be there when he was finished. The clinical staff and Lilly all looked at each other with raised eyebrows. Not his girlfriend? Yeah, Right!

Serena was desperate for news from home when her mother left the meeting room. She informed her daughter that Eleanor Waldorf had arranged homework to be faxed to the lodge and that there were assignments waiting for them downstairs in the study. Of news from home, she explained, Dan was staying at the penthouse to keep company with Eric while Lilly was delayed. He had commented something about floundering minions at school, which made no sense at all to Lilly. Eric had also asked Lilly to share with the kids some recent Gossip Girl posts about the missing foursome. Some of them were right off the wall! They said anything from the foursome had taken bad Ecstasy at a local Rave and were being hospitalized, to them all playing hooky in the Hamptons, to their being away on a ski vacation in Europe. "Eric asked me to write the closest one to truth down for you. Here," she said, handing a folded paper from her pocket over to Serena.

"_Spotted: 3 of our 4 missing waifs amongst dinosaur statues at the Calgary International Airport in Canada. Where's your missing "friend" B.? Lost again in another foreign country?" _it read.

She doesn't know the half of it, Serena thought, bidding her mother farewell as she boarded the helicopter for the airport. "Give a hug to Eric and Dan for me," she asked.

For more than two hours the group worked diligently on assignments sent from their head mistress. Nate and Serena were grateful that Blair was there, who was more than smart enough to tutor them when needed. Blair happily dove into her studies. She had found that homework was a most excellent method of avoiding other issues in her life. It had been her saving grace growing up when things got tough, and now was no exception. She did not want to think about what was happening to Chuck upstairs or about what had happened between the two of them earlier that day in the grotto.

They worked away until their attention was shattered by a slamming door followed by a loud "Fuck you!" coming from up the stairs.

An enraged Chuck flew down the stairs and out the door. Blair quickly got up from the table, grabbed her and his coats and headed out after him, concerned. "Chuck," she yelled after him, "wait for me." She ran to catch up to him even though he ignored her. She followed him inside their cabin and tried to catch her breath. "What's wrong Chuck?" she asked"

"What do you mean what's wrong? What a stupid question Blair! What the fuck isn't wrong?" he yelled. "I hate this place. Those guys are assholes! I'm trapped in fucking Canada! My uncle's been trying to kill me! My father's dead! I killed my own mother! I'm a fucking drug addict! How's that for starters Blair?" he wailed. "Why are you here anyways?" he continued. "If you were smart, you'd leave now, and never look back. You don't need any of this! It doesn't concern you! I'm sure you can catch a flight back to the city with those idiots. They can help you get a flight home."

"I'm not going anywhere Chuck," Blair asserted. "I told you I'm here to ride this out with you, know matter what. I won't go, even if you hate me for it and beg me to."

"Fine, suit yourself Waldorf, but leave me alone. I feel sick," he claimed. "I want to lie down."

Just then a short knock came from the door followed by Benjamin. "Excuse me, he apologized, but I need to make sure Mr. Bass takes his meds."

"Fuck off!" Chuck responded, turning his back on Ben and heading for his room.

"You know these pills are an important part of your treatment Mr. Bass," he continued, brushing off Chuck's rudeness. "You need to take them whether you like it or not. It's easier for you to swallow them than it is for me to force them into you through injection, which I will do if necessary," he added nodding at Chuck's shocked expression. "But it makes no difference to me. You choose."

Chuck observed the man threatening him in the doorway. The guy was massive, probably around 6' 4" tall with the large, heavy frame seen in those who've led a very active physical life. He had the features of a Native American Indian, Blackfoot, he believed Ben had mentioned. He was obviously considered handsome as he'd noted earlier when Serena had flirted relentlessly with him in the grotto. He reminded Chuck of that Indian guy in that horrible vampire movie they'd seen, only with shorter hair and more muscles. This guy is smart, Chuck thought; and confident. He probably means what he says. He could definitely overpower Chuck with little effort, probably without even breaking a sweat! Maybe I don't want to mess with him. "Fine, give me the fucking things," he agreed.

"Good decision," Ben agreed as he stepped into the tiny kitchen and got a glass of water for Chuck. He handed him pills and drink then insisted Chuck show him he had indeed swallowed them. Ben turned to inform Blair that Chuck was showing signs of withdrawal and the medication would help ease his symptoms and discomfort. He also forewarned her that Chuck was likely to get pretty sick, and suggested she stay close. He told her to keep her Walkie-Talkie on hand and to let him know when she needed his help.

"I'm sure we'll be just fine," Blair replied ignorantly. She had no idea what she was in for.

A tired Chuck hung his head in defeat and headed into the bedroom to lie down. After Blair saw Ben out the door she saw Nate heading towards the cabin with a tray of dinner for them. He asked her how Chuck was then told her he and Serena had been invited to go night skiing at a resort close to the lodge. A limo had been arranged to pick them up. He asked if Blair wanted to join them. Blair reclined the offer insisting she stay with Chuck. "I'm not here on vacation Nate," she replied with irritation in her voice. "I'm not leaving him, and I wish people would stop forgetting that!"

Nate apologized and left, thinking Blair was being just a bit of a bitch. She set the food down on a counter then headed into the washroom. She wasn't hungry. It had been a long day, she thought as she jumped in to the shower. She was thankful for the opportunity to freshen up. Slowly she let the warm water soak her head and body. She lathered up her luffa, and went to work washing away the tensions of an incredibly long day. Next she washed and conditioned her hair thinking that the chemicals in the grotto were probably not the best for it. She messaged her scalp and rinsed, closing her eyes and relishing in the moment. It was then that she heard him.

"Move over Blair," he cautioned, "I'm coming it too."

OMFG! Blair gasped in disbelief and wiped water from her eyes to witness a naked Chuck entering the sanctity of her shower. "Chuck what are you doing?" she questioned, shyly turning her back to his appreciative eyes.

"Isn't it obvious Blair," he murmured into her ear while slowly encircling her body in his arms. Since you insist on being my shadow through this little ordeal, I'm joining you," he informed her. Then he asked, "Why didn't you want to go skiing with Nate and Serena?"

"I told you. I am NOT going anywhere. God, why can't you people listen!" she charged then added, "I thought you weren't feeling well Bass, but obviously I was mistaken."

He loved it when she got defensive with him. She was his little spitfire! He gently kissed her neck and held her just a little bit closer under the warm water, letting its spray cascade over them both. Oh, if he was just feeling a little better, this would be perfect! He felt her tense up against his embrace. "Just relax Waldorf. I'm really feeling like ass right now. I'm not going to molest you. I'll save that for another time. I just wanted to hold you and when I went into the living room to invite you in, you weren't there. So here I am instead."

Blair turned around and set her large deep brown eyes on his golden brown ones. "Oh," she replied. "I'm sorry you're feeling sick," she added returning his embrace.

He kissed the top of her head. "So am I," he said and held her. "I'm glad you're here with me Blair. I meant what I said earlier. And I'm sorry I'm being such a prick"

"It's understandable Chuck," she replied. "I'm just trying to be your friend and support you any way I can."

"I think we both know we're much more than friends," he stated. He tilted her chin up so as to look into her eyes once again. "I love you, Blair," he finally confessed to her using those eight letters and three words she had so desperately needed to hear from him. "You are my savoir, my lover and my friend. Always were, always will be. "And frankly, I don't know where I'd be right now if it weren't for you." He admitted. Slowly, he leaned in and gently brushed her soft lips with his own.

Blair was so overcome with emotion at his confession she didn't know what say. Her lips responded by their own accord, deepening his kiss as she claimed him as her own.

After they'd showered and he'd changed into clean pajama bottoms, Blair lay down with Chuck until he fell asleep. She decided she would nap for awhile with him. She was exhausted. As she drifted off cradling him in her arms she noticed his body was a little bit shaky. She had no idea of what a long night she was in for!

**A/N comments? **

Chapter 5 en route…..


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**A/N: **Warning, this is fairly graphic. Also, I know this is progressing through withdrawal at a faster than normal pace, but I don't want things to drag out!

She awoke with a jolt when screams of agony assaulted her ears. She bolted from the room and ran towards the primeval sound. When she opened the bathroom door she found Chuck in the corner, curled in a ball, clenching his stomach. He was screaming, "oh my God!" and "fuck!" over and over again. His broken body was covered in sweat and shaking uncontrollably. He had obviously been throwing up for some time, not always hitting his mark. He had vomit on the floor and walls, in his hair and on various parts of his face and body. The stench was unbearable.

"It's OK Chuck," she cried, "I'm calling Ben for help." She quickly retrieved the Walkie-Talkie from the kitchen and sent a distress call in to Benjamin. Ben replied immediately that he'd be down in a few minutes and for her to stay with Chuck.

Those minutes seemed like an eternity to Blair as she sat on the dirty bathroom floor with Chuck, cradling his head in her lap. She felt helpless as he wretched and screamed in pain. She had tried to wash the vomit and sweat off his face, but he had grabbed the cool cloth from her hands and thrown it away. Now he clutched at her legs as the cramps tore his guts apart and cried for her to help make the pain go away. He begged her to help him, but there was nothing she could do but hold him and cry.

The vomiting started again just before Ben came through the door. A gurgling scream escaped Chuck's lips and she felt his body contort as he emptied his bowels into his pyjamas. Blair gagged in response. This surely wasn't happening! After everything he's been through, she thought, why does he need this too? Hadn't he suffered enough in this life? She wasn't sure how Chuck (or her) would recover from this!

Ben calmly touched Blair on the shoulder and asked her to leave the bathroom so he could clean Chuck up. She felt guilty obliging him, but honestly didn't think she had the stomach to clean the shit off of him herself, no matter how much she loved him.

As she released her hold on him, he started screaming again for her not to leave him. He screamed that he loved her and begged her not to go. Then, when Ben insisted she step out for a few moments, he called her a fucking bitch and a slut, and screamed that he hated her. Heavy tears spilled down her face as Blair thought of what pain the man she loved more than anyone else in the world must be going through. She knew he wasn't responsible for what he was saying. She shouldn't take what he said personally. But it still hurt like hell.

After a little while the screams subsided to more of a mournful cry. Ben came out with a bag of Chuck's soiled items. She heard the water running. "I wiped him down the best I could," Ben stated as he headed out the door. "I've put him in the tub. Can you watch him until I get back?" he asked of her.

"Of course," Blair responded heading immediately back into the bathroom. There she saw Chuck lying back in a semi filled bathtub, looking like he was dead.

Despite the putrid smell that assaulted her nostrils, she kneeled down by the side of the tub. She shut off the water, not wanting it to get too deep. It would be dangerous if he slipped under in this state, or if he started thrashing about in pain again. She took a clean cloth and some soap then gently began cleaning him as a mother might do a sickly child. Through her tears she gently washed his hair and face then cleaned his entire body from head to toe, lavishing care and attention over every inch of him. When she was finished she gently ran her fingers through his hair, whispering words of encouragement to him.

"Blair," he softly moaned, "please don't cry." He raised his arm and laid it to rest over his eyes and whispered, "I'm so sorry."

When Benjamin returned they lifted Chuck out of the tub together. Ben held him steady, while Blair dried him off with a towel. Ben quickly lifted him up into his strong arms and carried him into the bedroom. There Blair put pyjamas on him and put him to bed. Before he left Ben gave Chuck an injection, then suggested that Blair clean herself up and get some rest. He stated that this was likely to happen again later tonight and she needed to be prepared. He hooked up a baby monitor in the room for her to hear him, and then set its receiver up in Blair's room.

When Ben left, Blair thoroughly scrubbed down the bathroom and opened its window a fraction to allow icy, fresh air to remove any lingering smells. She jumped into the shower and washed herself as well, changing into loose fitting pyjamas after. She put her own filthy clothes into another bag and chucked them outside for the night. When her tasks were done, she reheated and picked at the dinner Nate had brought earlier. She checked on Chuck before turning in herself, making sure he was safe and covered in his bed.

She couldn't sleep. The horrific events of the night kept repeating in her head. His screams, his pain, his pleading words and his words filled with hate. Later, Blair heard a vehicle pull into the yard. She got up to look out the window. Nate and Serena were returning from their night of skiing, oblivious to what had happened. They were laughing and playing around like kids would after having a night of fun. What if she had gone with them tonight instead of staying with Chuck? He would have had to go through that hell all alone! The thought was deplorable! Though she herself was only seventeen, Blair doubted after this, she'd ever be a child again!

Blair woke up to someone gently knocking on her door. "Miss Waldorf," Ben called, "I need you to please get up if you can."

Blair jumped out of bed and met Ben in the living room. She could hear Chuck sobbing again in the other bedroom. Ben had returned while Blair slept and had gotten Chuck back up to the bathroom. "He needs someone to be with him until he goes back to sleep," Ben stated. "I've cleaned him up some. He's not likely to be sick again tonight. He was asking for you," he said.

Before Ben left for the night he put his hand on Blair's shoulder and told her. "You're a good woman Blair. This is a hard thing to watch. Not many have the will power and strength to help out like you did tonight. You must love him a lot."

"Thank-you." she whispered as he left the cabin, "I do."

**A/N: Sorry this one is short, but it is mentally exhausting just thinking of it. My own heart breaks for this poor bastard! Sorry if it grossed anyone else, but detox is kind of like this. For those who know detox, I do know in real life the extremity of Chuck's symptoms are occurring prematurely in this story. However, in my defence this was supposed to have been a short story, so I need to get on it. **

Chapter 6 en route ….


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Blair stayed the rest of the night in Chuck's room. Ben had thoughtfully set up a small cot for her knowing she wouldn't want to be far. She slept in spurts, rising at times when he was restless and to give Chuck fluids (which he really didn't want). At times she just lay with him and held him gently. He only slept a few minutes at a time. It was a long night.

At dawn Ben returned to the cabin and brought food, insisting Blair eat. They both knew Chuck was unlikely to eat today, coherent or not. They would give him his medication and keep his body hydrated for now. He had a difficult morning again, and Blair was relieved to see a couple of his doctors arrive just after lunch.

To her disbelief, they informed Blair that Chuck's withdrawal symptoms were quite normal at this stage. The meds they prescribed him would certainly ease his symptoms, but Chuck would likely get worse before he got better. The severity of withdrawal would depend on the quality of opiates Chuck had been taking, they explained to her. "The better the "shit," the worse the detox," they explained. Anything Chuck indulged in was bound to be good shit. He had been dabbling in Oxy before he left for Bangkok and smoked opium throughout his stay there. The quality of what was found in his rooms was likely to be good because it was liquid, often used in pharmaceuticals. They also explained to Blair that people with either a long history of abuse or who were repeating detox were bound to have more extreme symptoms. Blair couldn't believe that anyone could be sicker than what she had witnessed of Chuck. She couldn't fathom how they'd get through it. She already felt she'd lost him.

But the doctors were right. The next few days were even harder for Chuck. The sweats and chills intensified as did his cramping and muscle spasms. He vomited and had uncontrollable diarrhea. At times he'd thrash so violently he'd have to be restrained. He'd scream like a dying animal, and then break down and cry.

Benjamin was a pro at dealing with Chuck. He'd moved down into Blair's room to be closer to Chuck while the symptoms peaked. Blair stayed on the cot next to Chuck. Secretly, Ben was afraid for Blair's safety, and she refused to move to a different cabin. He understood how volatile Chuck was at the moment. He had worked in a couple of Detox facilities in the past, and had run an Outward Bound Boot Camp program for troubled kids. He'd seen boys much bigger and worse off than Chuck through this before He knew how ugly and dangerous it could be.

Through this ordeal Blair's eyes were opened to another side of life she'd had no idea existed. She'd cleaned more vomit and shit in the past few days than she could ever have possibly imagined. She learned to block out Chuck's screams and moans. She helped restrain his violent outbursts, held his writhing body, and soothed his agonised soul. She became an expert of washing him, hauling him out of the bath, and helping him dress. By the time this would be over, Chuck's very being was woven into her soul. No one, not even Chuck himself, would ever know him better.

Fortunately for Blair, Serena and Dan were around to help support and give them a hand watching over Chuck. Their care was not so much hands on, but more in offering time out. Ben needed time off to regain his strength and do other tasks. Blair needed time to rest and work on assignments, although at this point, she really didn't give a shit about school; but appreciated the mental break from the traumatic event she was experiencing.

And it had been traumatic for Blair indeed! It was on Chuck's third severe night of detoxing that he really hurt her. She'd been lying on his bed holding him, whispering comfort in his ears while he shook in spasm. With no warning he exploded. While screaming in rage he turned on her, grabbed her and demanded she help him. He accused her of not loving him, of hurting him and of secretly loving "that big Indian fucker" instead. He pinned her to the bed and started ripping at her clothes. He brutally kissed her, bruising her mouth. When she fought back, he struck her.

Blair's cries brought Ben running. He hauled Chuck off of Blair with one arm and pinned him to the wall, restraining him until his violence subsided. He asked Blair if she was OK, then told her to leave them. A shaken Blair didn't need to be told twice. When Blair was gone, Ben dragged Chuck back to his bed and pinned him down, arms up over his head with one massive knee planted in the center of Chuck's back. When Chuck was still, Ben bent down to Chuck's ear and told him, "That's a fine woman you have there Mr. Bass. She hasn't left your sorry side once. You'll never hurt her again or you'll be dealing with me. Is that understood?"

Chuck hadn't intended to hurt her. In his condition he absolutely was not in control of either his mind or his actions. That he had hurt Blair at all was a demon he would have to deal with when his sanity returned. He loved her and would hate himself for a long time for what he'd done. But no matter how incoherent at the time, Ben's message that night was received loud and clear in Chuck's subconscious mind; he had hurt Blair badly, and would never do it again.

Although shaken over the attack, Blair was intelligent enough to understand that it was his withdrawal, not Chuck himself who had hurt her. She wasn't fazed in the least, no more than a mother would be over a tantruming child. She cleaned herself up and took a short time out to breath the cold Alberta air, then returned to her charge. She argued with Ben that it was OK to leave her with Chuck; he hadn't meant to hurt her. When she cradled Chuck later in her arms, he cried, telling her he was sorry and he loved her. It was after this horrible night that Chuck started to improve.

On about the fifth day of Chuck's withdrawal Blair agreed to go for a walk around the property with Serena. It had snowed the night before and the area was pristine. Gone were the snow angel prints and toboggan tracks left behind by an enthusiastic Nate and Serena, though great mounds of snow remained where Nate had tried to build his igloo. Serena and Nate were concerned for Blair after Chuck's last violent outburst. Blair had a bruise on the side of one cheek and a small cut on her mouth. Despite their response, Blair was adamant she was fine.

Blair welcomed the walk to help clear her head for awhile. Chuck's symptoms were decreasing. He had survived the roughest part of the withdrawal. Serena announced that she and Nate would be flying home the next day. They wanted Blair to return with them. Chuck was on the mend and they needed to get back. Serena told Blair that her mother wanted Blair to return as well, but Lily had begged Eleanor to let her stay. "Ben told mom that you were better than any nurse to have on hand," Serena said. "Your mom is pretty proud of you and said to stay if you wanted, but keep up on the homework." Lily hadn't mentioned the attack on Blair to her mother. It was just as well, Serena thought, because Blair informed her she wasn't going anywhere no matter what happened or what anyone said. Serena had never seen anyone as dedicated to another, as Blair had become to Chuck. She just hoped, for her friend's sake, that Chuck wouldn't hurt her again.

After their walk Blair returned to the small cabin. Ben was packing his stuff up to return to his own cabin. He announced that Chuck was doing well today. Though a bit shaky, the worst was behind him. His doctors had already been in to see him for the day and felt the worst was over. He would start back into counselling the following day with a couple of his clinicians.

Blair checked to see that Chuck was resting, and found him in a heavy sleep. Though somewhat gaunt, he looked more peaceful than she had seen him look since the night of the Snowflake Ball, before Bart's death. His shaking had eased, his face was relaxed and his brow seemed smoother.

Blair decided she should try to nap too. She hadn't gotten more than a few hours of sleep since Chuck had gone into withdrawal. She had completed her assignments for the day and was sure that Nate and Serena could manage. She had a quick shower, changed and headed for her own bed. It felt fantastic to sprawl out under the clean sheets and luxurious quilt after sleeping on that cot for days.

She woke up in the early evening with Charles curled around her, fast asleep. Blair was confused for a moment as to where they were, but got reoriented once she turned and faced him. He had showered and shaved, she noticed, looking and smelling like his old handsome self. It put a smile on her face to see small roses in his cheeks. He must have been outside for awhile, she thought. She slid out of bed and went to tidy herself up in the bathroom, and then headed back to her bedroom. She crawled in beside him again to snuggle. Her weight on the mattress must have woken him. He stretched and smiled the biggest smile she had seen in a long time spread across his face.

Without saying a word his arms reached for her. He slid her body on top of his and just wrapped himself around her. He held her tightly almost- protectively then burrowed his face into the curve of her neck. She embraced him back, dumbfounded as to the air of desperation in his embrace.

Chuck wanted to thank Blair for being with him throughout his ordeal. He wasn't sure what to say. He also knew, at a deeper level, that he'd hurt her again, but wasn't sure what had happened. He couldn't imagine what she must have gone through while he was ill! Although most of the past few days were a blur of pain and illness to him, he knew she had remained at his side. He wasn't sure how. He just knew. In the darkest moments of his illness her presence was the light that kept him from slipping into an even greater darkness. She had fought his demons right along with him, with a strength and determination he admired. For a person who had never experienced a mother's love, she had become the mother he had never had. He had never felt so cherished or cared for in his entire life, ever. Her dedication to his care was impeccable. Her devotion to his very soul, unquestionable. Blair loved him; he would never doubt it again. She was his angel.

"It's good to see you back among the living Chuck," she chimed, breaking their hold to look into his eyes. "How are you feeling tonight?" she queried.

"Grateful," he said. "Thank-you Blair … for everything." He felt his words catch in his throat. He didn't want to cry, but he might if he said more. He could feel tears begin to well up in his eyes. Instead he held her to his chest again, never wanting to let her go He kissed her lightly on the head. She turned her face to catch his lips and gently kissed his mouth, tasting the sweetness of it. She kissed his eyes, tasting the tears behind his lids.

"I missed you," she whispered, putting her hands up to cradle his head, preparing for another kiss. "Let's never do this again!"

"Never," he promised looking in her eyes. It was then that he saw the bruise on the side of her face. "Jesus, Blair!" he exclaimed in horror, "what happened to your face?"

**A/N Thank you all for your support while I struggle through my first FanFic! I wrote this chapter 3 times! I'm still unsure if I like it or not. For now, it will have to suffice.  
**

Chapter 7 en route…. But will probably be in a couple of days. I could write all night, but have other work pressing so cannot.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"Blair," he sternly repeated as he rolled out from under her and off the bed, "I asked what happened to your face?"

"It doesn't matter what happened Chuck, its fine now," she responded, trying to make light of it. She knew this wouldn't be good.

"I did that to you, didn't I?" he asked, already knowing the answer. "And what do you mean, 'it doesn't matter?' Oh my God, what did I do?" he asked hysterically, "Push you? Hit you? Did I do that to your lip too?" he asked, just noticing the small cut almost healed on her mouth. "What kind of a fucking monster am I?" he yelled fleeing the room.

He headed into the tiny living room and retrieved his shoes. Without taking a jacket he flew through the door and headed up toward the lodge. There he burst through the entrance and headed straight toward a bewildered looking Nate and Serena who were lying prostrate on the floor cheerfully roasting marshmallows in front of the stone fireplace.

"Can somebody please tell me what the fuck you were all thinking?" he stormed. "Why would you leave me with her knowing what I'd done? Why was she left with me in the first place? I'm a monster. I hurt her! I can't believe I fucking hurt her again!" he wailed inconsolably.

"Blair's alright Chuck," Serena eased, leaving Nate with the mallow forks so she could approach Chuck. "She's a tough girl. She didn't break. She knows you didn't mean to hurt her. She's fine," she added, reaching out to comfort him.

"Don't fucking touch me Serena!" he yelled at her through angry tears as he turned to avoid her arm. "I might hit you next. Don't you people get it? It doesn't matter whether I meant to hurt her or not. I DID hurt her."

Right about then Blair burst through the door. She was seething mad, ready for blood. "You stupid Basshole," she interrupted, "You DIDN'T hurt me. You were out of your head in pain and madness. That wasn't you," she expressed. "But what you're doing now DOES hurt me. You have to stop running away. From me, from trouble, and from yourself. It's tearing me apart. It's tearing us both apart! I don't think I can handle you hating yourself anymore, not when I love you so much!" With that Blair flew out of the lodge into the cold night.

"Marshmallow anyone?" Nate asked holding up two stacked forks boasting crisp golden marshmallows. He simply hadn't known what else to say! He was totally blown away by what had just transpired in front of him, as was Serena. Never had either friend seen that amount of passion delivered by anyone, let alone by Chuck or Blair. Ever. It was incredible. "Wow!" added Serena reaching for a tantalizing morsel, "that was awkward!"

About then Benjamin came down stairs from the upper office. He'd heard the commotion and had chosen to intervene before Chuck lost control. The young man was still capable of losing it. He wasn't fully detoxified yet, that would take weeks. Ben also understood the nature of Chuck's ailment. He'd been there to deflate things that night after all. It was time someone took this young hot head and spoke to him like a man. Ben figured it may as well be him. He knew Chuck had no father at home to guide his son. The boy needed a man right now, one who wasn't afraid to mince words.

"Mr. Bass," Ben spoke as he quietly approached the angry Chuck, "We need to talk." He placed his hand on Chuck's elbow as he firmly directed him outside through the door.

"Where are you taking me?" Chuck asked with concern in his voice as they passed his cabin. He didn't appreciate being frog marched through the snow to God knows where. In fact he felt rather threatened by this approach. Deep down Chuck felt something warning him that this very large individual would mess him up something fierce if he wasn't careful. They were headed to the grotto.

Once inside the warm cave, Benjamin motioned for Chuck to sit down at a table beside the pond. He retrieved a couple of cokes out of the cooler in the cave's stone wall and handed one to Chuck while sitting down himself. He told Chuck he'd heard the argument downstairs and felt that Chuck needed to talk to someone about it.

"I don't want to talk to you about anything!" Chuck defensively replied. "You are not my therapist."

"Actually, you're wrong there, Mr. Bass." Ben replied. "I'm many things to you right now, including your therapist. You've only started to unleash the demons in your soul, boy," he stated. "There's more to detox than just coming off the dope. You're letting yesterday use up too much of today," he suggested, quoting an old Native proverb.

"What the fuck is that suppose to mean?" Chuck sarcastically inquired.

"It means, my young American hothead, that you're worrying too much about things that happened in the past, which is interfering in things that are happening for you now," Ben replied.

"You mean Waldorf, Right?" Chuck clarified. "I'm afraid you don't have the whole story there Ben. Me and Waldorf, you see, go back a long ways together. You have no idea of how complicated our relationship is. But all you do need to know is that I never want to hurt her anymore. So tomorrow she needs to leave with Nate and Serena. I don't ever want to see her again. She's better off without me!"

"You're wrong boy. There's nothing complicated about your relationship with Miss. Waldorf," Ben firmly stated. "When you deny synchronicity with your soul mate, the reaction is violent and destructive. Your soul is empty and your life chaotic because of it. Sound familiar? This is simple stuff, boy. The troubles in your past disappear when you're with her, don't they? You really think she'll be better off without you? Think again. You're as much a part of her, as she is of you. You complete each other. If you send her away again, you'll destroy her; maybe this time for good. You'll never reach harmony in yourself until you accept this. You've been given the opportunity to combine your two energies, become synchronized again and again. The trouble here is you're scared, so you sabotage it. It's easier to be brave from a distance."

"You think Blair's my soul mate?" Chuck asked dumbstruck. Ben had hit on a few sore spots. A lot of what he said sounded like hippy mumbo jumbo shit that someone like Rufus Humphrey might say. But it also hit part of Chuck's spirit. He didn't think he could deny anything with Ben. The man seemed to see everything!

"She's your soul mate, Chuck," Ben stated. "You're only complete in the presence and love of each other. Just about everyone can see this, including both of you. She's woman enough to face it. Question is, are you man enough to accept it?"

The two men spent another hour just talking. Ben had Walkie-Talkied Nate to bring them down food. Ben gave Chuck his medicine, along with an awful lot to think about. Finally he suggested Chuck go back to the cabin and talk to Blair quoting another native proverb as he left the grotto, "…when doubt no longer exists for you, go forward with courage."

Blair was packing her suitcase to leave, bawling once again. She'd decided that Chuck was on the mend and obviously didn't want her around any more. Tomorrow she would leave with Nate and Serena. She was angry. And hurt! She had known that Chuck would be upset about striking her when he was out of control. She just didn't think he'd be as angry and self loathing as he was. She understood, but despised his self hate. After all they were cut from the same cloth. Both had abandonment issues reinforced time and time again by unattached parents. Both felt they could never fulfill the expectations of those parents, their friends or society in general. Both engaged in self destructive behaviours guaranteed to implicate already precarious lives. But most of all, both felt they were unworthy of being loved by anyone. Blair acknowledged her demons most of the time. She had been in counselling on and off for years and had learned to identify, label and accept these feelings. She also understood their origins. Chuck, on the other hand, had not been as successful with therapy in the past. Until he was ready to deal with his remaining demons, he was unlikely to see himself in the same light Blair saw him in. She loved him, despite those demons. She just wished he could accept that.

She answered his soft knock at her door. He spied the packed suitcase on the floor by the closet. She brushed past him, ignoring his presence and went into the bathroom for her shower. She made sure she locked the door lest he disrupt her as he was known to do.

He paced, waiting for her to exit, cursing when he heard her lock the door and the shower come on. So she was planning to leave, he thought. Well, he'd see about that. He went back into her bedroom, threw her suitcase on the bed, and began to unpack her. He tried not to get caught up in touching her clothing, but couldn't help admiring her good taste in general. He also appreciated her sexy undergarments, having fond memory of a few particular pieces. When he finished unpacking he put the bag in the closet then went to wait for Blair.

She took her time. She was still hurt and was unsure what to say to him. Just thinking about it made her cry again. Dam him anyways!

He heard her crying again and it made him want to run. He held his ground, refusing to be a coward. Fuck!

When she finally emerged from the bathroom she looked like an angel. Her damp hair framed her face in moist deep chocolate curls. Her eyes were bright and her skin was fresh and glowing pink. She wore a simple but elegant knee length nightgown that made her look innocent, almost virginal. She smelled of lilacs in spring. She looked at Chuck with a sad smile, and then turned to the kitchen to go make tea. She never made it.

Before she knew what was happening Chuck scooped her up in his arms and carried her into his bedroom. He sat down on his bed with her on his lap and held her as she started to struggle.

"Put me down Chuck!" she demanded, "This isn't funny."

"You're not going anywhere Blair," he replied, "and stop fighting me; I frankly don't have the energy for it tonight."

Hearing she was making Chuck uncomfortable made her stop trying to free herself from his hold. She normally would have found his very comment encouraging. She loved to win at anything. But not tonight; this was different. In this particular corner of the world winning meant helping Chuck recover, not beating him at anything. "What do you want then?" she added.

"First, I want you to look at me and listen to what I have to say," he simply stated until she turned to meet his eyes. She melted into his gaze, becoming a part of him. She couldn't help it. Despite every hurt he'd caused her again, she couldn't help but love him.

His breath caught when she turned to look at him. Those eyes seemed to swallow him whole. He was lost just looking into them. If he'd any doubts about what Ben had said earlier, they were gone now. She completed him. This he knew.

They simply continued to look at each other until he noticed a tear glide down onto her cheek. Gently he kissed it away. "Blair," he began, "I'm an idiot. You know I can't stand the thought of hurting you in any way, and I know it wasn't intentional the other night," he quickly added before she could argue. "I wish it never happened'" he continued. "I don't know if I can ever forgive myself for that, but I'm not mad any more. I didn't mean to upset you with all of this. Sometimes I don't seem to get anything right, but I'm trying Blair, because I want this to work. I don't ever want to lose you again."

"You have to stop Chuck," she stated getting off his lap. "I can't stand any more of your self hate." She turned to leave but he got up and caught her hand. When she turned around he captured her in his arms and told her not to go. "Why should I stay?" she asked him as gentle tears came again.

"Because I love you."

His sensual mouth found her lips and he kissed her deeply, heavenly. She gently cupped his face with her hands and looked at him again, feeling herself fall in his depths. "I love you too," she whispered.

Again he scooped her up and took her to his bed, this time laying her down with him. He began to softly kiss her face, her neck and shoulders, savouring each bit of her. He lifted the nightgown over her head and tossed it by the door. She was beautiful. He undressed himself with her help. Then he lowered her onto the bed once more. Now tender lips found her breasts and he softly kissed each one. His tongue found their peaks and he explored them hungrily. His mouth headed south down her belly and onto her slight hips, tracing each with a practiced tongue. Her response urged him on.

His hands gently encouraged her legs to part and he let his fingers prepare her. He first stroked her folds and found her wet in anticipation. His fingers entered her depth and she clenched her body in welcome. His thumb found her clit and gently rubbed it slowly allowing friction to build up her heat. She mewled in response. Then, placing one hand under each cheek of her ass to slightly raise her, he gently put his mouth on her. One touch of his tongue sent a jolt of electricity searing through her body. Oh, what Chuck could do with his tongue!

He lavished in her depth, tasting every sweet bit of her. Her clit was ripe with her heat. He gently put his mouth on it and suckled, teasing with his tongue. Her hands were in his hair, mimicking their motion. His fingers again entered her cavern and he stroked her inner walls with a slight pressure upwards. Her body convulsed and she screamed his name as he continued his attack on her body. He quickly brought her to a second orgasm that almost began a third when she finally clamped her knees around his head, begging him to stop (but really not wanting him to). He was an outstanding lover!

She took his face in her hands and brought him north, quietly laughing and kissing his mouth. She could taste herself on him, and it fuelled her passion even more. She rolled onto his chest and put her own mouth upon him. He sighed with pleasure as her tongue found its way around his chest making its own way downwards. His pelvis flinched as her tongue traced his navel and traveled down the silky trail of his body hair. She gently stroked his engorged cock with her hand, tracing fingers around its sensitive head with one hand while stroking its length with the other. He moaned, and she turned her head to look at him savouring the sensation. His eyes held hers captive and he stroked his fingers through her damp curls. She brought her tongue down to explore him, running the tip of it over the wetness of his head. His body jolted at the sensation as she took it into her mouth and slowly sucked while tracing the ridge with her tongue. All the while she continued stroking down its length towards the base. Her hands found his balls and she gently caressed them as she took his cock further into her mouth, drawing it in and out, deeper with each gentle thrust. When she could take in no more of him, she brought her hands back to the base extending pressure there where her mouth could not. His pelvis rocked to her rhythm while she sucked him. His climax built. As he came, she gently cupped his balls and worked them until he was spent. She was his goddess!

He pulled her body up onto his chest and planted hungry kisses on her lips, tasting himself on her as well. "I love you," he whispered to her again. "You are my world, my soul." Already he could feel his body preparing for a second round. This time they made love with a tenderness neither had ever experienced before. As the couple climaxed together at the peak of their heat, they both felt the combustion as their souls ignited as one.

**A/N: Comments?**

Chapter 8 (conclusion) en route…..


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 Conclusion**

Nate and Serena were just finishing a late breakfast at the main lodge when a near frozen Chuck came in with Blair. His arm was casually slung over her shoulder, her arm draped around his waist. This may have appeared a simple enough gesture for outsiders to witness, but made a bold statement for anyone who knew Chuck. Serena nearly bubbled over from happiness for the couple, Nate was impressed, and Ben nodded with a big smile on his face. Chuck had listened.

The very air around Chuck seemed to have changed overnight. Although still experiencing some pain and a lot of discomfort, he looked more alive than the friends had seen him in awhile. Almost at peace, Serena noted. She jumped up and hugged Blair enthusiastically with her signature Serena squeal, and fondly rubbed Chucks arm, as a "Good morning you two!" bubbled out of her mouth.

"You must have had a good night last night," Nate commented, and then realized his words could be taken a couple of different ways. It made everyone laugh a little.

"I do feel pretty good Nathaniel," Chuck announced, "although I can't believe this unbelievable cold."

A blast of frigid air from the north had announced the warm Chinook weather was over. Today the temperature was normal for this part of Alberta, but not for Manhattan youth who found a temperature around 0 cold. Chuck found -38 down right inconceivable! "This is nothing," Benjamin boasted to the distraught group, "When an Arctic front moves through we can easily see it in the -50s!" At this temperature it was too cold to visit the grotto, go skiing, or play in the snow. For those not use to extreme conditions, this weather meant staying indoors close to any heat source available.

When Chuck's clinicians arrived that afternoon, Serena, Nate and Blair stayed at the lodge to complete schoolwork by the cozy fireplace while Chuck completed his clinical routines. Serena and Nate quizzed Blair on the obvious improvement in her and Chuck's relationship. "I'm so happy for you," Serena sincerely told her friend again in a huge hug.

Nate added he felt it was about time the two of them got their shit together.

It was time for Serena and Nate to go home. Chuck hugged both goodbye, thanking his Non-Judgemental Breakfast Club members for their help through his crisis. They flew back to Calgary by helicopter with Chuck's clinicians in order to catch the Bass jet back to New York. They couldn't wait to get home to warmer skies, loved ones and even Gossip Girl. Serena was going to tell gossip seekers that they'd been skiing in Canada for awhile - part of which was true. She would let Chuck and Blair make their own excuses when they got back. Nate was disappointed that his only real igloo encounter had been with those he'd built out of marshmallows.

Although she'd miss her friends, Blair was happy when they left. This meant she and Chuck could spend some uninterrupted quality time together, something they both needed to help strengthen bonds in their relationship. They'd never had an opportunity to develop it past its "honeymoon stage" before. There should be little distractions here, Blair thought hopefully. Frankly she couldn't handle any more drama between them. She would stay on as a support for Chuck (he called her his rock of stability) and to help him get back on track with his school work, the next stage in his treatment plan.

Chuck still needed to remain at the lodge for several weeks to complete his detox program and work through other issues. He might have hated the cold and the lack of social stimulation here, but he needed it to help him focus on getting better. It would be way too easy for him to slip into a familiar destructive lifestyle in Manhattan so soon. He wasn't out of danger yet. Each day he would find he felt healthier and more alive even without the energy of the city. He would always be a New York mind, but for now he needed this little corner to heal his spirit. He acknowledged his illness and became more committed to his own treatment. He never wanted a repeat of the nightmare he'd been going through, ever again. He hoped the police were able to deal with Uncle Jack appropriately, but he doubted it. Chuck knew exactly how slippery a character Jack was. It was, after all, one of the traits he used to admire in the man.

Chuck also wanted to experience a real relationship with Blair. He had, after all, never had a real girlfriend before despite his expertise with women in all matters of the flesh. Emotionally, he was the virgin, needing her love to teach him to be a partner worthy of loving. Over the next few days their relationship would have the opportunity to deepen without any outside interference. The small cabin would grant him the opportunity to experience what life would be like with another person who truly loved him.

The cabin provided something of a different type of experience for Blair. As a child she'd been spoiled with almost everything she could possibly ever want or need; everything, that is, except proper parenting. Any whim she might have would be catered to as quickly as possible. Dorota, Blair's unique polish maid, was at Blair's beck and call 24/7. She was like a surrogate mother to Blair, both doting on her and gently reprimanding her when she needed it. Not only did she look after and clean up after Blair, but she also ran errands, helped her in her schemes and was a constant faithful companion. At this little cabin in the cool blue north, however, Dorota was nowhere near. Blair found herself with responsibilities she'd never had before.

At first it was like a more grown up version of playing house. She would tidy the cabin while Chuck was gone having therapy. She'd even tried to cook some simple meals in the tiny kitchen for them. It wasn't her forte. The novelty wore out, and soon she was wishing Dorota was on hand. Then Chuck would come back tired from his treatments. They would make love or take a nap. On warmer days they would walk, or toboggan. She felt like a little wife for awhile, but after a few days of this, Blair got bored. She needed some more stimulation then this place offered.

Chuck found Blair's domestic endeavours somewhat comical. He sensed, however that she was growing restless and needed a change. One day when Chuck's clinical team came in the morning, Ben suggested he take them to Banff for the afternoon. He would drop them off in town and then pick them up after a few hours.

"Oh My God, I can't believe I'm getting excited about a place with fewer than 8000 people in it!" exclaimed Blair. But she did. They were ecstatic about choosing from a variety of restaurants to eat or rest in. It was exciting walking around the pretty town, going into the unique little shops, and visiting quaint galleries, be they somewhat humble compared to New York. It was a beautiful mountain town. The scenery was breathtaking. They were surrounded by some of the most gorgeous mountains either had ever seen. The hospitality was friendly, and merchants were pleased to cater to the needs of the tourists. It was a great break from the lodge. It was a nice change for them both. Best of all they were unknown here so they didn't need to worry about Gossip Girl blasts, despite their good behaviour!

That Chuck hadn't felt the urge to buy a drink or find drugs while in town was a positive step for him, Ben told Chuck. Next time they'd visit the city to see how that went a few times. He and Blair could start doing a few day trips to go skiing or whatever too. C

Chuck was progressing in his therapy sessions. His medical doctors were also pleased with his progress. Once he was stable enough, they told him, he could start going into the city each day for his treatments. Then, when his clinicians felt he was ready, he could go home and continue his treatment there. Life, in Chuck's eye was looking like it was finally starting to get better. Unfortunately for Chuck, he was sadly mistaken.

XOXOXOXOXOOXO

Ben read the note Blair handed to him. It read:

"_I'm sorry for everything_

_You deserve much better_

_Don't come looking for me_

_Chuck"_

"It was a poor judgement Ben," Blair cried. I knew it at the time and should have stopped it. It's just that I was so hurt. He's going to hate me! What should I do?" Blair sobbed uncontrollably.

"You have to tell him," Ben stated, gently hugging the very distraught Blair. "He loves you. This is a wound that festers in your relationship. The longer you leave it, the worse it will be to fix. It will tear your relationship apart if you leave it spread. He's your soul mate Blair. You are meant to be together. You need to tell him. It will turn out alright, you'll see,"

Blair knew Ben was right. She had to tell Chuck before things went any further in their relationship. She loved him and knew this would probably destroy him. She really didn't want to cause him any more pain. He had enough on his plate to deal with already, but she knew it would be tougher to deal with the longer she put it off. Not telling him at this point was like telling a lie. She had to tell him what happened on New Years Eve with Jack.

When Chuck approached the cabin after his therapy session later that afternoon he knew something was wrong. The curtains were closed and Blair was sitting in the dark. One look told him that she'd been crying for awhile. "Blair what is it?" he asked with concern in his voice as he sat next to her and gathered her in his arms. "Tell me what's wrong."

"I have to tell you something that you're not going to want to hear," she sobbed. "You're going to hate me," she whispered.

"You know that's not true Blair. I could never hate you," he promised, but he felt his gut beginning to knot up in his stomach. "Please Blair," he urged. "Please tell me."

"I did something really wrong when you were in Bangkok over the holidays," she confided through tears. "On New Years Eve, I slept with Jack. I'm sorry…"

Chuck felt sick. "You slept with Jack!" he yelled as the world as he knew it ended. "Oh My God, Blair, how could you do that to me?" he cried in anger leaping off the couch to stare at her in disbelief and disgust.

.

"I didn't do it to you," she sobbed. "I did it to me Chuck. I'm so sorry."

"What do you mean, 'I didn't do this to you'? This is bull shit Blair," he continued flying into a rage. "Why didn't you tell me before now? Is this just another fucking game to you? Is that it? Is that why you're here?" he accused, shaking his head and grabbing his coat to bolt out the cabin's door. "We've just been playing house here for the last few weeks! I can't fucking believe this!"

She flew off the couch and placed herself between him and the door so he couldn't run. "When was I supposed to tell you, Chuck?" she retorted matching his anger. "After you left me that night and disappeared to Bangkok? The first time I saw you after that was when Jack was pulling your comatose ass out of the limo! Was I supposed to tell you then? Or was I supposed to tell you the night I went to talk to you at Victrola, when you basically spat in my face again? Huh Chuck? Was I supposed to tell you then? Or how about when you showed up at school incredibly high, and got suspended for lighting up? You weren't coherent enough to listen to me then. Was I supposed to try to tell you then? You didn't even want me Chuck. As far as I knew you hated me and wanted me out of your life. You left me remember?" she shouted reaching into her pocket and shoving his old note into his hand. "YOU LEFT ME!"

"And I couldn't tell you when we first came here either Chuck. Should I have waited until you were screaming in agony on the bathroom floor covered in your own shit and vomit? Would that have been a good time? I hadn't had the opportunity to tell you until this last couple of weeks. And I didn't come here to play a game, or trick you into becoming my boyfriend if that's what you think. I came here as your friend because I love you and you needed my help. And this is why I'm telling you now Chuck. It's been eating me up inside. You have to know the truth before this thing between us goes any further. You have to know…"

Chuck sat down hard on the floor. He was devastated, but he knew Blair had been right. He had left her and told her to go on without him. He looked at her face, now brimming with tears, and nodded in agreement. "OK," he said.

"The night you left almost killed me, Chuck," she continued as she sat down in front of him. "It felt like my soul had been ripped right out of my chest. I was sick with worry not knowing if you were alright or if you were maybe even dead. I couldn't eat or sleep. Dorota was so scared she had my mother and Cyrus come back from Europe for awhile. I just couldn't stop crying. I couldn't function all through December. I even stopped going to school for awhile! I just didn't care anymore. I couldn't stop feeling that I'd lost you forever. And then Jack showed up after Christmas. Lily asked him to come and take care of Bass business while you were missing. He promised me he'd find you. He promised me he'd bring you home safe. He promised me it was going to be ok… I trusted him," she sobbed.

"And then on New Years Eve I was alone at home. I didn't want to be anywhere that you weren't. I was crying again, like I had been forever. Jack showed up at the apartment bringing a bottle with him. He told me he didn't want me to be alone when I was so sad. I only had 2 glasses Chuck, I swear. But I'm pretty sure now there was something else in it. I started to feel really warm and groggy. It felt like I was floating out of my body. I started crying again and he hugged me, telling me it was going to be OK. For a moment when he held me it felt like you, it was you. You are about the same size as he is. You have the same hair. He was wearing your cologne….."

"What do you mean, it was me? Jesus Blair!" he scoffed.

"You're a fucking hypocrite Bass!" Blair replied meeting his eyes and using the same sarcastic tone he spoke to her in. "You can't tell me you never fucked another woman imagining it was someone else, can you Chuck? We both know that that would be a lie!" His look confirmed what they both knew to be true. He had repeatedly used women as a replacement, imagining them, in fact, to be Blair.

She continued, "When I closed my eyes it was you who was holding me, Chuck, not Jack. When he held me, my pain was gone," she added as she briefly recalled just how much relief she had felt that night. "And then he started kissing me. I told him we should stop, it wasn't right, but he kept telling me it was OK. If I kept my eyes closed, I thought, it wouldn't count. In my mind it was you, not him, holding me, touching me, kissing me. Before I knew it we were in a bed. He was taking my clothes off. I tried to make him stop, but he wouldn't listen and I couldn't really talk. It was dark. I couldn't see very well. In the dark with your eyes closed its easy to see someone else if you need to. It was only you I saw that night Chuck, so eventually I stopped fighting him off.…... I'm so sorry" she sobbed.

He felt like he'd been shot through the heart. Tears pored down his eyes, matching hers. He was no longer angry at Blair. Although he hated to admit it, she'd really done nothing wrong. It made him sick to think how lost she must have been while he was off drugging it up in Bangkok. It made him sicker still to think that his uncle had taken advantage of her, possibly drugging her and then forcefully taking her. He had no reason to doubt her words. She hadn't been with Chuck when she slept with Jack, even if she had have done so deliberately. It wouldn't have been his business. She could have chosen to never tell him. And although it tore him apart, he was grateful that she had. "I'm sorry too." He whispered reaching out his arms to hold her. "Oh my God, I'm sorry Blair." He didn't know what else to do but comfort her. She'd been through hell too. He vowed to get his uncle for this, if it was the last thing he ever did.

Chuck had a lot to talk to his counsellors about for the next few days. He and Blair were going to be OK. Unbelievably to Blair, her confession actually seemed to have strengthened their relationship. Benjamin had been right again!

Lily had flown out a couple of times to see how Chuck was progressing. She was there a few days later bringing a few more articles of clothing and some requested personal articles for both with her. She brought messages from their family, friends and also from Gossip Girl. "The rumour has it that you two have eloped and are living in Europe now, expecting a baby!" Lily declared in good humour. She also told them that Jack had left the country and she was standing in for him until Chuck could take over the company on his 18th birthday. The police and Interpol were looking for him. Lily was thrilled to hear that Chuck had been making good progress in his treatment. She looked forward to his homecoming.

Blair was excited to hear that they would be leaving Canada soon. She missed her life in Manhattan and wanted to go home. It had been a long process for Chuck and she just wanted him back home with her. But she was also worried about what things might look like for them once they left the lodge grounds and headed back into a Manhattan reality. This place had become their haven, a place where both felt incredible warmth, safety and love.

She needn't have worried. By now Chuck didn't want to even imagine what his life would be like without Blair. He would go to the ends of the earth for her. She had been his one constant throughout this ordeal. He could never thank her enough for what she had done for him. Regardless of where they may be in the future, he would not forsake her again.

The night before Blair was to head back to the states, Chuck asked her to go for a walk with him around the grounds. It had warmed up a little and the air was clear and fresh. They donned toques (Blair loved this word!) and mittens along with their warm winter sweaters. They leisurely strolled around the grounds just simply enjoying each other's company. They ended up outside the grotto. "Let's go in," Chuck suggested, "I think it's warm enough for a swim."

But the grotto looked a little different tonight. A lovely table had been set for dinner. There were candles everywhere imaginable. Soft music was playing throughout the cave. "It's so beautiful," commented Blair, "so romantic!"

"Well," Chuck commented, taking her hand as they slipped out of their mittens. "It's our last night here together," he replied. "I wanted to make it something special."

Ben brought them down a light meal for two to eat by candlelight. It was their last night here together so he wanted to give them their space. He was going to miss having Blair around. She was a beautiful young woman with the spirit of a hellcat. Her energy and determination were admirable. She was both intelligent and funny to speak with. But most of all she had helped him deal with Mr. Bass when he was at his worst. She never complained! Women like this were rare. Mr. Bass was a very fortunate man indeed. Ben served them their dinner quickly, then smiled as he bade them goodnight.

They were both quiet throughout dinner, reflecting their time together over the past few weeks. Blair was still apprehensive about leaving, but knew it was time for her to go. Chuck would follow in another week or two. She had been tearful on and off all day. She was going to miss him.

Chuck rose from the table and took Blair by the hand. He wrapped strong arms around her shoulders and held her tightly telling her everything would be OK; he'd be home soon too.

"I'm just worried Chuck," Blair softly cried, "Maybe you'll change your mind about us when I leave, and then things will go back the way they were before for us," she confessed. "I couldn't stand it if that happened to us again. I'm scared."

"Blair," he said lifting her chin to look into her compelling eyes, "I promise you that won't happen. After all we've been through; things can never go back to how they were again. We're both different people now," he added, "me especially!" He looked deep into her eyes and whispered, "I 'm going to love you for the rest of my life. I promise."

He kissed the tears on her face and found his way to her mouth. He put gentle lips on hers and reinforced his promise there. "I was thinking," he added," that we should talk about maybe moving in together after we graduate this spring until you start college in the fall. But only if you want to."

"That would be wonderful Chuck," she elated, "and then I could come home on weekends and holidays for visits too."

"And then," he added, "If you'll have me, I want you to become my wife when you finish college."

"Are you asking me to marry you, Chuck?" she asked in a startled voice, looking at him again.

He responded by reaching into his pocket and pulling out a lovely black velvet box. He opened it up and took out a stunning diamond ring. "If you'll do me the honour of becoming my wife I am," he claimed. Then he softly added, "This was my mothers."

Oh My God, it was so unexpected, Blair thought as she wrapped her arms around his neck crying, "of course I'll marry you, Chuck," she cried, "I love you so much, of course I'll be your wife!"

"It's beautiful and a perfect fit," she told Chuck as he slipped the lovely ring on her finger. "But how did you get it here?" she queried.

He kissed her hand and explained, "Lilly brought it for me on her last visit. I asked her to get it for me from the family vault. I guess your mom helped her to get it sized for you. Lilly says they're both really happy for us," he added with a big grin.

She took his hand and led him to large comfortable mats in the lounge area beside the grotto's pond. She reached up and cupped his face. "Chuck Bass," she whispered into his eyes, "I love you."

He replied with a single long kiss to her mouth and then answered, "I love you too." He gently lay them down on the blanketed lounge mats on the cave's floor. His mouth verified his love as he kissed her again on the face and neck with an unbelievable tenderness.

She responded by reaching her hands up to stroke the side of his face, running it down along his jaw line onto his throat. Her hands reached around his shoulders pulling him closer to her and she gently glided them up and down over his shoulders to his waist.

He rolled her gently on top on him, catching her mouth with his as his passion grew. She matched that passion, and he groaned at her response to him, urging her on. Her mouth left his and found his chin and neck, kissing them hungrily. Her hands felt his chest and she sat up, straddling him. She took the waist of his sweater and carefully pulled it up and over his head.

He reciprocated by removing hers in a like fashion, sitting up with her on his lap, legs straddling his waist to pull her sweater off too. Again he found her mouth and kissed her hard while gently running his hands over her small breasts. She cooed in response, running her fingers through his hair.

She gently pushed him back on the bed. Him first, she thought with a little grin. She took his hands and gently pulled his arms over his head, in a gesture of pinning him to the bed. She felt him grow hard against her and she smiled, kissing him again.

Her hands stroked his chest and shoulders as did her mouth. Fast fingers expertly undid his pants. She slid down his body taking them with her to his feet, and then kicked them off the lounge mats. She removed his socks and ran her hands along his strong calf muscles to his knees. She stroked large circles on his thighs running them from the outside up and bringing them back down on the inner side towards his knees once more. She reversed the path back with her tongue and he groaned, "Blair."

Chuck began stroking her hair, holding her head as he guided it up towards the source of his heat. Her hot tongue licked his balls, and her mouth tenderly sucked at them. He whimpered under her control. She raised her head to look at him, and delighted in his expression of sheer bliss. So she continued. His cock was firm against the front of him. Her tongue caressed it from the base of the shaft up to the tip, tracing a prominent vein. He jolted under her touch. She carefully licked his tip and traced her tongue around its ridge. Finally, she took it into her mouth, gently sucking just the head at first, and then slowly sliding him in deeper and deeper as she sucked. He rocked his hips slowly in response. She used her hands to take over where she could go no further; but to him it felt like she took it all. She increased the suction when he sped up his motion. His body soon shook in violent spasms as he came.

As she withdrew him from her mouth, she kissed him there, and continued to kiss him back up along to his belly, onto his chest and neck. She laid her head gently across his chest, and lifted her hand to his hair, telling him she loved him.

"God Blair," he responded stroking her hair, "You're amazing!" He rolled her over and kissed her mouth, tasting himself on her lips. He gently kissed her throat, holding his lips a moment when he got to that place he loved best between her neck and shoulder. "I love you too," he added, embracing her a moment before continuing. His hand found her breasts and he traced their nipples with fingers gently squeezing them at their peaks, His mouth left her neck so he could lightly caress those breasts with it, now gently sucking her nipples. His tongue journeyed down her smooth skin along to her navel. He inserted his tongue's tip softly into its hollow. She murmured in response. His hands undid her jeans and he slid them down, smiling when she arched her hips to help them off. He removed her socks and tossed them all off the mats, next to his own discarded items. He took a moment to admire her then, clad only in red silk panties, body flushed with desire. His heart skipped a beat. God, how he loved her! His own body responded in this acknowledgement. He lay next to her again, kissing her mouth while he slid his hand down over the red silk of her panties, coaxing her legs to gently open. His hand lifted the material aside and was met with the silk of her own body. He placed fingers gently inside her opening, and he responded in a delicious shudder to her wetness, "Chuck," she purred.

He slid down her body and kissed her belly again as he helped her off with her panties. His tongue took over where his fingers left off inside of her. He ran it over her folds, gently sucking as he went, enjoying the little jerks of her body when he touched the right places. Her hands found his head and she urged him on with a whimper of, "don't stop."

He raised his head to look at her and saw love and desire in those beautiful eyes. "I won't," he replied. He continued his assault on her body. His tongue found her clit and he rolled it around with the tip of his tongue. He lightly nibbled at it and started to suck, alternating with flicks of his tongue. He inserted fingers back into her slitted opening and stroked her on the inside. When he felt her clench, he extended the pressure there, increasing the motion with his delft fingers. He began to suck her clit a little harder to match the rhythm her hips indicated he should as she responded to his touch. She came with a spasm that pushed his hand right out of her. He wouldn't give up as easily with his tongue, He knew if he continued she would respond in a series of orgasms, each building in complexity until she couldn't stand it any further. He was relentless as she continually panted and gasped in a steady stream of release and pleasure.

When she finally felt her head would exploded if he didn't stop, she took his face in her hands and gently lifted him away from her. She urged his body up onto hers, and circled his waist with her legs, coaxing him inside. He plunged deeply and she gasped again in pleasure. She arched her pelvis, encouraging him in even deeper. She clenched her muscles around his length as he withdrew and plunged, and she rocked her body meeting his with each thrust. He kissed her hard in his passion, and then moved his mouth to her neck as his tension mounted. She could feel he was close so she clenched her muscles more and curled her pelvis up a little higher. The change in their position placed friction on her clit, and she quickly escalated again. She took his balls in her tiny hand, and gently squeezed and caressed them. She whispered, "I love you," as she started to cum. His body responded with his own release at her words. She wrapped her legs around him tighter and clenched her inner muscles, drawing his jolting member up into her quivering walls even further, deepening the spasms in him. She didn't let go. "Fuck!" he yelled in ecstasy.

When he finally collapsed, he kissed her softly on the mouth and gently rolled her body back on top of his. "You're unfucking believable Blair!" he complimented after he regained his composure and his heart had returned to normal. He reached for a blanket beside them on the mats and swiftly covered them up.

She raised her head and looked into his golden brown eyes with a sweet smile on her lips.

"You better believe I am, Chuck!" she replied as she planted a deep kiss on his mouth then added, "and you better not forget it!"

Benjamin found them curled around each other, asleep like that the next morning. He had come get Chuck when he hadn't shown up after the helicopter arrived with his clinicians. Ben assumed they had spent the night there and just couldn't hear the noisy machine arrive because of the insolating walls of the grotto. He grumbled his apologies to the sleeping couple as he announced the purpose of his arrival. He excused himself and turned to leave with a huge smile on his face.

Blair was packed and ready to go on the helicopter once therapy was over for Chuck that afternoon. She hugged Benjamin tightly and thanked him once again for his support and guidance in all of this. Ben hugged her back just as tightly. "No Blair," he confessed. "I need to thank you for your help. You were a bigger help in this than you will ever know." he said. "And I am honoured having you as my friend. You are a strong woman," he added. "Take care of your self," he said as he wiped a tear from the corner of his eye. He would miss that little one!

Then Blair looked over at Chuck. The frigid Alberta air blew through her hair, causing a chocolate curl to whip wildly in front of her. She took him into her arms and held him fiercely telling him over and over again how much she loved him as hot tears ran down her face. She knew she'd see him in another week or so, but she would desperately miss him even for that amount of time. They had grown so close (had become harmonised as Ben would put it) that she couldn't bear the thought of even one day without him. She just couldn't say goodbye.

Chuck was just as distraught as Blair was to say goodbye. He knew he'd desperately miss her too, but also understood that this final week in treatment would be best spent independently. He felt stronger than he ever had, despite still having some annoying cravings to deal with from time to time. He placed his arms around her neck and held her eyes with his own. "Thank you for everything," he told her as he tucked that wild curl behind her ear. "I know I couldn't have done this without you. You are my world," he told her kissing her softly on the mouth. "I love you too." He promised her he'd see her in a week, wiping the tears out her eyes while fighting off his own.

The helicopter lifted up and slowly rose over the grounds of Jackson Rapids Lodge. Bair waved at her friends and her soul mate below as it climbed higher in the sky. She mentally said goodbye to the majestic mountains now behind her in the west, and to the forested retreat that they had become both their refuge and their home over the past few weeks. She wiped the remaining tears from her eyes as the helicopter sped towards Calgary, smiling now as she admired the ring on her finger.

FIN

**A/N: Sorry for the delay of this chapter. … Life happened! I found this ending difficult to write. I changed it a couple of times, then settled for this one, hoping I didn't lose too much momentum in the process. I needed to address the Jack monkey on my back. It was just bothering me something fierce! Now I'm thinking I'll maybe write a one shot later on entitled Poor Judgement, which would be the story of what really happened between Jack and Blair. I'm still not sure, but I would appreciate feedback on this. So do you think that would be interesting? Over all, I think I did OK for a first write, I felt my style change a little each chapter. I still like to read more though. Thank you to everyone who offered kind words and support. Oh, and I didn't mean to piss off anyone with my cheesie Twilight digs or for making Nate a bubble had. Sorry to anyone who was offended. **

**Jennifer**


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